Woman gives birth to her 14th child from 14 different fathers

19 Feb

A 36-year-old Michigan woman,
Anita Sullivan Jones, has set a
new world record by giving birth
to her 14th child from her 14th
Infamous Tribune reports that Ms
Jones has been listed in the
Guinness Book of World Records
after giving birth at the Harper
University Hospital on Tuesday,
February 16. She is sad to be the
first woman in the world to have
children by more than thirteen
different men.
“I’m extremely proud to have
broken a World Record,” Ms. Jones
told reporters. “My mother always
told me that I was lazy and
worthless, and that I would never
accomplish anything in my life. Now,
I’ve shown everyone that she was
wrong, and that I can even be the
best in the world when I put my
mind to something. In fact, I’ve just
accomplished something that no one
had done before!”
Anita Jones says she’s been unlucky
with relationships in the past, but
she believes that this time she may
have found the man of her life.
“I’m good at having babies, but I’m
really awful when it comes to picking
the fathers of my children. This
time, however, I think I’ve learned
from my past mistakes. Ramón isn’t
like all the jerks I’ve dated before.
We’ve been together for almost a
year and a half, and I really believe
it could work between us.”
Jones’ thirteen other children looked
really happy to meet their new
sibling at the hospital. They were
also said to be filled with joy for
their mother, who against all odds
had broken a Guinness World
Record, and posed happily for the
2017 edition of the book.
After their meeting with Ms. Jones,
the representatives of Guinness
opened a second investigation
concerning the record for the
number of child support pensions
received by one person. The Detroit
native is already the beneficiary of
pensions paid by 11 different men,
and is involved in two other custody
cases, which should proceed before
the family court over the next two
The investigation should be over by
the month of March 2016, and
Guinness will then be able to tell if
Ms. Jones holds a second World
Record or not.
Errr, can they tie the tube of the
woman already? What the heck??!

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Posted by on February 19, 2016 in Uncategorized


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