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Some Everyday Psychological Facts That Might Save Your Life

19 Aug

1. If you want others to open up to
you or like you, make them the most
important thing in the world*
In Psychology this is referred to as
“Active Listening”. All you need to do is
give your entire attention to them when
they talk. There are various ways you
can implement this:
Think that you have to give an hour long
presentation on what they talked about
the next day.Act like they have
something to share that will give you a
million dollars.Listen like you would if
you were talking to your hero or god.
Doing so will make sure you pay full
attention to what they say. The
difference is minute in your eyes, but
the subconscious effect it has is
massive! People will feel it and will love
to talk to you, because you make them
feel like they matter. Which is one of
the most sought after feelings in the
world.
Try going an entire day with paying full
attention to everyone and get their
responses the next day. You will be
surprised by the difference it made for
them.
2. You see what you think about.
Let’s use an example for this. A driver
who believes the stereotype that
women are bad drivers will see both
bad drivers that are men and women,
and good drivers that are men and
women. But, even though he sees about
an equal amount of each, he will only
consciously be aware of the bad women
drivers and the good men drivers.
This is a security mechanism in our brain
to confirm that we are right and to
boost our ego. The interesting part
comes in when you realize that this
works for everything!
When we think about positive things,
how great the world is and how amazing
our life is, we see more proof of it in
the real world. What might be
considered normal will be considered
great in this Point of View. The same
way when we think about how bad
everything is and how Life is going
against us, we see normal events as
being negative and small problems as
being gigantic.
The best way to use this to our
advantage is to think about how
we want the world to look like. Because
we find proof for everything we look for
it is up to us to decide how we want to
see the world. If we do not do this,
someone else will decide for us.
Using this effectively can lead to a
happier life, filled with gratitude and
amazement. But it does take practice
and effort.
3. Motion creates Emotion.
It is a common Research subject in
Psychology and has been studied in
many different aspects. The most
popular one is “How to feel more
confident”. Studies in this area have
shown that the more space you take up,
the more confident you feel. When you
sit, sit with your legs open and arms
outstretched, when standing, stand up
tall and wide.
What’s even more amazing than these
findings is the fact that this works
with every Emotion. Whenever you
want to be happy, excited, confident,
sexy, loving, or whatever else, just think
about what a person with those
qualities would do. Imagine that person
in the same situation, how would they
act? What would they say? What would
they think?
Ask yourself these questions and then
simply copy that person in your head.
Depending on how you move and
behave your brain will activate the
areas in your brain corresponding to the
emotion you portray and release the
corresponding hormones to make you
feel that way!
4. Reality Testing
. A lot of our daily problems arise from
us overthinking. We make the problems
bigger or smaller than they actually are
and need the help of these strategies to
actually see the reality. Without this we
cannot solve the problem because we
either get too scared to try, or think the
problem isn’t that big and do not think
it is worth solving.
In Reality Testing, Psychotherapists
encourage clients to look at their
problems objectively and to back-track
to the negative thoughts and analyze
them. Some common ways we tend to
do this are:
– *Over-generalization* . Thinking that
one negative event will lead to more
and more negative events is something
we cannot know. We generalize the
meaning of what happens even though
we have no idea. Instead think that this
is one event, period. It is just one event
and the next event is completely
separate from it. Even though in your
experience that may not have been the
case, if you think this way you will go
into more situations feeling empowered
and will believe in your ability to still
change the events.
-*Comparing to others* . This is an
extremely common occurrence. To be
honest, we have no idea what the other
person has gone through to get there.
They may have worked 18 hours every
day for the last year, crying and
sweating, to get to where they are
today. Do not assume that they got to
where they are with the same effort
you did. There is no point in comparing
to others because, unless we actually
lived through their life, we have no idea
what it took for them to get there. Even
if they tell us they will have a skewed
perception and we will receive it
through our point of view, which also
skews the reality of it. Instead of
comparing yourself to others around
you, compare yourself to how you were
a month or year ago. The only real
reference point you have is a past self.
– *Blaming others*. We wish to make
life easy on ourselves. And what is
easier than saying that we are not at
fault for anything that happens? It is so
easy to push the fault onto others, or
onto life itself, because they cannot
defend themselves. When we blame
others for our misfortune, Therapists
will intervene and start a paradigm-shift
with the clients. They encourage clients
to take responsibility for everything for
a while. Obviously this can lead to the
other extreme, but the point is to first
get out of the habit of blaming others.
When we take responsibility ourselves it
is more likely that we will act to correct
it.
– *Thinking in “All” or “Nothing”* To
overcome this you should be very
precise in what you say. This is also how
a lot of fights start with couples.
Phrases like “You always do this” or
“You never do that” lead to a skewed
perception of Reality. Instead think
about how often something occurred in
the last week or month and count the
exact number. This will remove the
extremist thinking, getting you closer to
the solution of the problem.

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Posted by on August 19, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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